The Heart of Writing: How to Inject the Power of Emotion Into Your Prose
Simple word choice can elevate any novel from obtuse to ooh-la-la!
A good story can sink or swim based on the quality of its prose. Since February is the month of romance, it’s time to show your writing some of that sweet, sweet loving.
Now, there are certain techniques that all authors need in order to capture a reader’s heart. Usually you hear, “Show, Don’t Tell” and “Kill Your Darlings” for advice, but developing a strong writing voice starts at a more basic level with word choice. Tastes and writing styles change over time, but solid techniques will carry you and your books through better or worse.
Here’s the overview: Good writing supercharges the reader’s emotions, heightening the mundane to the transcendental. Plus, anyone can do this! Especially once they know how to avoid the common pitfalls that deaden an otherwise gripping story.
Amplify Your Verbs
Actions speak louder than words, but how can a writer use words to amplify the action? From the start of our lives, we’ve trained our minds to describe how things are, but a strong writing voice knows when to add dynamism to a stagnant sentence.
Linking Verbs are a common crutch because of this. Any being verb (is, am, was), sensory descriptor (smelled, looked, felt), or changing state (started, became) will tell you what things are but not what they do. This can be a problem because your story turns into a list instead of an adventure, which is what the reader really wants. Swapping in an Action Verb will give more weight to anything you write.
“There was a smelly wind blowing in from the garbage dump,” is an observation. “A sour stench swarmed in from the east.” will vicariously burn the hair in your reader’s nostrils.
Now, the English language is chocked full of synonyms, with some being used more than others. Think of the different ways a character can run: dash, sprint, jog, gallop, bolt, scamper. Each one has its own flavor and meaning, but we often lean toward the more common variants. Do you want to write a common story or one that commands attention?
Metaphor is another technique to zhuzh up your verbs. Besides, you’re already using them more than you realize. When was the last time you dove into a good book? One you could really sink your teeth into? At one point, these cliche phrases were the peak of imagination, but now they’re so common we don’t even blink twice when reading them.
Keep on the lookout for places you can stuff in a creative turn of phrase. Even create your own! Personality is hard to come by, so don’t be shy about showing yours off.
Lastly, even a quiet scene can blare like a siren. Personification of ideas and sensations can help you fill an empty room, shifting your narration away from the typical. “I felt sick to my stomach,” could become, “Fear curdled in my gut.” Giving the action to the sensation is a classic trick to avoid cliches and inject new energy into a scene.
Verbs are the quickest way to inject emotion and excitement into your prose, so make them the highlight of your sentences. However, you still need to balance action and description in your writing to be an effective communicator.
Cut the Fluff
Now that you’ve given your verbs a set of six-pack abs, it’s time to trim the fat cluttering your sentences.
If you haven’t heard of Glue Words, coined by a lawyer named Richard Wydick, then this is your introduction:
There are keywords in a sentence that express meaning, which we’ll call Working Words: Subject, Verb, Direct Object, and Adjectives. Stories typically revolve around these parts of speech (and sometimes can be reduced to just the verb, as in the command, Run). But in order to clearly express yourself, you need Glue Words to connect everything together.
The key is to use just enough to write clearly. There’s no such thing as a useless word, just a misplaced one. Take this overly complicated sentence, with the Working Words marked in bold:
“Her stomach that growled was keeping her attention on the delicious looking plate of french fries instead of her date, who sat across the table from her.”
First, never use a prepositional phrase when an adjective would do. You should also make sure the verb amplifies the action, so swap out Linking Verbs for more active counterparts. We’re not trying to cut out every Glue Word, just the ones making an intelligible mess. Here’s an improved example:
“Her growling stomach focused on the steaming plate of fries instead of her date, who tapped her nails impatiently.”
Just remember that a technically correct sentence isn’t always the best one. Train your eye to see the structure of a sentence so you can tighten your words to give them more impact and power.
Highlight Character Reactions
Now that the technical aspects of emotional prose are in your tool belt, it’s time to apply it! That means focusing on the powerhouse behind all good story: characterization.
Reading is amazing: it’s the quickest way to tap into another person’s head. For example, I can describe a kind old man with dark skin and springy white hair, smiling with a full set of dentures, and there he is, sitting pleasantly in your mind’s eye. But what’s the point of him? How do I interpret the appearance of this nice old man through story?
Everything comes back to your point-of-view character and how they perceive the world. Imagery tricks fall flat without the personality of our reader proxy, so weave in observations and references to help your reader connect to the immaterial world on the page.
One problem new writers have is pretending they’re writing a movie instead of a book. They rely mainly on physical cues and body language to tell us what characters are thinking and feeling. Not a bad technique, but it’s missing the point. “Show, Don’t Tell” is less about using visual cues to tell the story, but showing the reader the meaning behind these actions. With a book, you can narrate these thoughts instantly, bridging the external world with the internal just like our minds do every day!
Say you’re writing about your protagonist meeting this old man for the first time. What do they think of him? Is his appearance sudden and unwelcome? Or expected and celebrated? Your job is not just to tell what we see, but show how the viewpoint character interprets their surroundings.
Let’s use the former concept. In this case, my protagonist is an assassin for hire, traveling at night to their next target when he’s stopped for help.
“I turn down the street, wary of the footsteps. An old man shuffles towards me with a notable limp and his hand out to flag me down. His white hair stands out in the night, stained yellow by the dirty lamplight. He shouldn’t be here. Hell, I shouldn’t be here, which makes this fellow either incredibly unlucky, or… Well, in this town, everyone’s unlucky.”
I made sure to include hints to the narrator’s emotional state by reacting to the old man. My character is wary, observant, and ultimately pessimistic. He’s not threatened by the man, but threats are everywhere in his mind. The reader can only wonder if the old man is in danger, or he is the danger.
Also, look at the action verbs I use at the start: turn, shuffles, stands out, and stained yellow. These descriptions give the scene more energy. Then I use auxiliary verbs like should and is when narrating my protagonist’s thoughts. This is because thoughts are intangible, and the direct approach with Linking Verbs translates faster than personification.
So the quick tip is to use Action Verbs for descriptions and Linking Verbs for thoughts, mixing them in the same train of thought. Always consider how the viewpoint character feels so your narration can guide readers through the story with the dazzling as well as the relatable.
One problem that can arise is when an author, questing to revitalize their prose, overdoes it. Back in the day, we called it “purple prose,” but it seems the opposite problem is more common with everything stripped down without flash or fanfare. Technically correct doesn’t always mean “fun to read.” Balance is key, so keep an eye on how many Working and Glue Words you use in your work.
Take Action
Time for a writing exercise! Use the tips from above and rewrite the last scene you completed in your manuscript. Don’t just edit. Rewrite.
Starting from the ground up is a good way to train your brain to use these principles first, not later in editing. Guaranteed there’s going to be some well-meaning beta reader who will comment your writing lacks life. While the Old You might grit your teeth and say, “I know, but I’m going to fix it later,” you can jump ahead of that problem altogether!
Ultimately, your unique writing voice is built on these core rules of communication. Clear and specific descriptions without clutter will help you create your own pocket of reality, which you can bring your readers into as if they’re coming home. Your distinct way of seeing the world will translate to the page more effectively. You’ll be able to tell deeper stories with less work. You’ll impress readers quicker, and that’s more important than ever with so many fish in the sea.
Give your stories the TLC they deserve!